For those of you who don't have a Christmas gift this year, I've compiled a list of easy, quick, low-cost Christmas gifts that you can give to anyone.
Well, maybe not anyone.
1) Non-Edible Cereal Bracelet:
Take a piece of string (or wire or pipe cleaner or whatever you happen to have on hand) and dunk it in a bowl of liquid glue. Take your cereal and crush it up into tiny crumbs. Put that in a bowl. Take your glue-covered string or similar and coat with cereal crumbs. Tie the ends together. Or glue. Or weld. Leave to dry.
Takes so little time out of your life, you'll wonder why you didn't do this every year.
2) A Bottle of Apple Juice
Take any bottle you have lying around (or you could use the apple juice bottle). Fill it with apple juice. Decorate. (Here's the part where you could either go all out and spray paint it and cover it with gems, or just tear off the tag and be done with it.)
Takes time, but the amount of times your receivee (is that even a word?) will use the bottle overcomes that. By a lot.
3) A Heartfelt Card
Get a scrap piece of paper. Write "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I'm so glad you survived." If you don't have room for that, just write "U = :)" They'll get the message, either way.
Takes almost no time at all. You could even decorate it a little. But it looks more homemade when not decorated.
4) Personalized Pillow Case
Take a pillow case (or bed sheet or blanket or towel or whatever) and lay it flat on some surface. Take a marker or something similar and draw whatever you want. You could draw a rubbish Santa or write "I hope you raise my pay!!! :) :) :)." My suggestion: "Before you go to sleep, have you: 1. Taken out the trash? 2. Done your homework? 3. Brushed your teeth? 4. Practiced piano? 5. Sang your sister a lullaby? (Even if she's already asleep, you have to do this!) 6. Packed your backpack? 7. Done all of my chores?"
Variations can be made for different people.
Takes lots of time. May not be worth the effort.
5) Personalized Diary
Get a lot of paper. Staple it together. Glue on a huge sheet of paper to act as a cover. Write "DIARY" across it. If you want to make more effort than is worth it, take a little strip of paper and glue only both ends down. Take another strip of paper and glue one end on the back. Make sure the strip is long enough so that the person can stick it in the little paper-lock-latch-belt loop-thing.
Takes too much time. You might be better using your glue to make Non-Edible Cereal Bracelets.
6) Collage Card. Colla-ard. Colard. Clard.
Gather old magazine and newspapers. Come on. You know you have them stuck under your bed... Think of a message. Maybe it could be "I can be a better Santa that Macy's says I can." Or it could be "Helpful Hint: Never keep a bearshark as a pet." Get all the letters and cut them out. Glue them on a piece of paper. You could also tape them.
Takes as much time as it does to do your homework. You might as well do your homework instead and feel good for doing it.
7) Epic Macaroni Picture
Take uncooked pasta of at least 2 colors and decide what image you want to make (HAPPY HOLIDAYS, a representation of their face as a duck, a vase of wilted flowers, a polar bear in a snowstorm, etc). Choose one color as your background color. Set those pastas aside. Using the remaining colored pastas, create the image your want to on a sheet of paper, gluing them on. Or taping, if you want them to fall off after a week. Use the background pasta and fill in the gaps. If you're really rich, you can even buy a frame and stick it in there.
Not worth it at all. If you do this, you're a pretty stupid moron to come looking for easy quick Christmas gifts and doing this.
If you have money to waste, here's some awesome gifts to give someone:
1) An island
It's impossible to believe that you got an island for Christmas. You'll have about a year or two to actually buy the island while the person freaks out. It'll put you in debt, but so what? You had money to waste, and you wasted it.
2) A New House
You get about a month or two of grace period to actually buy the house. Great choice if you're really not going to get anything, because you can use the excuse "The seller didn't accept my asking price." If you're lucky, the person won't even understand what that was, and you can waste all that money on yourself.
3) A Cow. Or Pig. Or Goat.
Donate to Heifer International in their name. Buy a cow. Or a pig. Or a goat. Make sure that the person you donate in name of really hates animals.
4) A Time Machine
Tell them you got them a time machine. When they ask you where you got it, say that it's top-secret government information, but they're actually working on a real time machine and that you already bought it. Just don't tell them that it might take a hundred years before it's ready.
5) Socks
Buy them socks. Fuzzy socks. Fun socks. White socks. Black socks. Manga socks. Barney socks. Knee-high socks. Socks that look like shoes. Buy enough to fill at least at 2 foot by 3 foot by 4 foot box and send it to them. They'll never have to buy socks again!
Enough with the fun.
Really, the best holiday gift is from the heart. So if you think they need socks or apple juice, go ahead and buy them that. But at this point, you still have time, so think about what they need and what they want and give them that. Show them what you really think (Except if you hate them. If you hate them, use my amazingly awesome easy, quick, low-cost gifts and they'll think you actually love them.).
Bye!
P.S. Here's an awesome Christmas gift, by the way:
Source: http://img0.etsystatic.com/039/0/8258701/il_340x270.519250244_3bxz.jpg
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