Re-re-re-responding to ly-ly-ly-ly-lyrics (yeah!)

Hi,

Today I'm going to type in grey because grey is cool. What a change! (crowd gasps in shock)

It's been a while since I've posted, hasn't it? It usually has. Remembering to post and finding time to write posts and waiting for popular songs with interesting lyrics to be released and actually pressing the "Publish" button all take so much effort. 

Shameless self-promotion here: if any of you could subscribe to my blog, that would be great because then you'd know when I post (at least I think that's how it works) and be able to read my articles and that would be good for me because the only people that read my blog are the Germans who somehow get here from ads? Here's how it works (Google says this, not me): when you view my blog homepage, copy the link (for those of you too lazy to do that, here you go: halfacupofapplejuice.blogspot.com). Then if you scroll to the top, you'll see on the top right corner of the page that it says your email account (whatever that may be), and then next to it "Dashboard", and then "Sign Out". Don't sign out. Click on "Dashboard", and then you'll get this super cool page. A little down the page you'll see this button on the left that says "Add". Click on it, and then where it says "Add from URL", paste the url of this blog. You don't have to follow publicly - I have no preference. And then click follow and you're done! Yay! Please please please please please do it. Just make me feel less lonely? Maybe? Please? No? :'((( But I love you all!! (no I don't *evil grin*) Fine. Do whatever you want to do. I'll just be over here, standing alone with my poor little blog that updates once every 73 years that is only read by strange Germans.

Let's move on. Hmm.... what's happened lately? Speaking of music, my sources say that so called "Zayn Malik" has left the popular boyband One Direction (whose lyrics I have yet to respond to... FORESHADOW DUN DUN DUN okay that's enough....) because he was feeling stressed and overwhelmed by the celebrity life. Hi Zayn. Let's pretend that you're a strange German and you're reading this blog. Here's a life lesson: humans are horrible beings in general and the closer and faster you come to understanding that the more understandable life is. I suppose you won't be happy, but it's the hard cold truth. Along the road there are some okay people and cling onto them for dear life while they're still okay because soon they'll be like the rest and they're your chance not to go insane. Just remember though, that even when ignoring the cold and hating humans, you shouldn't take too seriously those sugarcoated exclamations of love from all of your 10-year-old fangirls screaming "PLEASE MARRY ME" because first of all that would be pedophilia and secondly they don't really mean it. What they really mean is "I'm overloading on hormones and media makes you look handsome so please notice me because I naturally want attention from those up the social ladder like a normal human being". Speaking of sugarcoated exclamations, this old song of yours had a lot of that.... (cue interlude music)

"What Makes You Beautiful" (lyrics from Google Play - Thanks, Google Play! Interlude music also from (imaginary) Google Play. You can turn that off now. Thank you.)

testtest - This is the lyrics

testtest - This is me

(Note: this is assuming the lyrics are being addressed to me and me only)

You're insecure,

Don't tell me who or what I am. 

Don't know what for,

That made no grammatical sense. What did your english class teach you?

You're turning heads when you walk through the door,

But I'm not. Don't make assumptions. Learn from the other artists (see other posts shameless self-promotion)

Don't need make-up, to cover up,

Again, that made no grammatical sense. You really need to brush up on 6th grade grammar

Being the way that you are is enough

But if I am the way that I am, then why are you implying criticism for not being myself when I can only be myself?

Everyone else in the room can see it,

See what?

Everyone else but you

Excuse me, I have 20/20 eyesight and I'd like to let you know that I can see most things.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

But I don't emit light.

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

Overwhelmed how? Flipping hair = strong emotional effect? I think not. Maybe you need to go see a doctor.

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

What if the ground is pretty?

You don't know, oh oh,

But what if I do? Stop telling me what I do and don't know, oh, oh.

You don't know you're beautiful,

But I do know I'm beautiful. I am the most beautiful in the world. I am the beautifulest of the beautiful. I am Queen Beautiful.

If only you saw what I can see,

Are you suggesting that your vision is impeccably better than mine? Or that you're in possession of a microscope? 

You'll understand why I want you so desperately,

Am I the new Xbox?

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,

Right now there is no one looking at me.

You don't know, oh oh,

What if I know, oh oh,

You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh,

But I know, oh oh,

That's what makes you beautiful

So are you suggesting that your definition of beauty is: "someone who is unaware that they are beautiful?" Then that's a paradoxical loop, since you can't define a word using that word, so it would be "someone who is unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware that they are unaware..." I won't continue.

So come on, you got it wrong,

But what if I'm right?

To prove I'm right, I put it in a song,

Mathematicians around the world shake their heads in disapproval at this horrifying proof.

I don't know why, you're being shy,

Again - what if I'm not being shy? Get your facts right. Tsk, tsk.

And turn away when I look into your eye eye eyes

I only have an eye eye, not an eye eye eyes, thank you very much.

Everyone else in the room can see it,

You still haven't specified what they can see.

Everyone else but you

Plot twist: I can see it WHOA WHAT

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

I'm curious as to how "nobody else" lights up your world. Perhaps you've confused both me and "nobody else" for the sun.

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

The emotion from that hair flip is just too much to stand.

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

*isn't. Also, the ground is pretty. You aren't. 

You don't know, oh oh,

But I totally know, oh, oh,

You don't know you're beautiful,

I totally know I'm beautiful

If only you saw what I can see,

I am also curious as to what you can see that I can't.

You'll understand why I want you so desperately,

....creeper. 

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,

Right now?

You don't know, oh oh,

You don't know, oh, oh,

You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh,

(sing phrase sustained on one pitch) You're under the maybe-false impression that I'm not aware that I am beautiful, oh, oh

That's what makes you beautiful

Have you ever learned how to properly define words? Hint: don't use the word in its definition.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

I'm not a baby.

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

I feel like you're just attracted to my hair and nothing else.

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

But when I smile at the ground I'm smiling because you look funny

You don't know, oh oh,

I'm really getting tired of you underestimating my knowledge.

You don't know you're beautiful

DON'T TELL ME WHAT I DO AND DON'T KNOW.

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

Do you just use the same failing pick-up lines on every girl?

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

I think you have a fetish for hair.

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

I smile at the ground because it's hard to smile when I look at you.

You don't know, oh oh,

I'm not stupid.

You don't know you're beautiful,

I actually give up.

If only you saw what I can see,

Stop trying to put yourself higher than the person you're trying out attract

You'll understand why I want you so desperately,

See? You're trying to make me feel bad by pretending that you're better than me and then saying that only if I'm as good as you then I'll understand but I don't want to understand so HA.

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe,

Right now I'm alone, and no one is looking at me.

You don't know, oh oh,

You're not listening to me.

You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh,

Listen to what I'm saying.

You don't know you're beautiful, oh oh,

Stop making baseless assumptions!

That's what makes you beautiful

I'm done. I can't stand people who don't define words properly. Goodbye.

*in singsongy voice* Remember to add halfacupofapplejuice.blogspot.com to your dashboard so that I'm not lonely! Support the cause! Or you can just not do it. I guess that's okay too. Although I will be sad. Look at the one tear slowly dripping out of my eye. How heartbreaking.

"Farewell." - Me.

Sitipeelstnacseibabitis

Hello,

Today's blog post will be short because I actually didn't leave a six month gap in-between posts and am posting in the same month for (whoa) maybe almost a full year. Don't want to go and see. Wait. Actually, in the interest of putting effort into this small blog that no one reads (laughs unenthusiastically) I will go look it up. Nearly a year. Last time was March of 2014. Wow. Such a long time ago.

I came home today and discovered that my younger brother had brought home a score for the musical "BUGZ!" (Why the extra "z"? To be "z"azzy?) which they are to perform at school in a month or two. I looked through the lyrics and read things like "Picnic!/C’mon let’s have a picnic/With lots of food that’s fun to eat/Going on a picnic can’t be beat!" and "If someone isn’t kind/And friends are hard to find/You just say never mind and be a lady" and then "But clouds don’t stay forever/Rainbows do appear/So even though it’s stormy/There’s one thing very clear/Things change/Things will change." Note that this is "A musical play written for young voices." Also another note that there is rapping in this musical. If it could get any worse....

Either way, all these happy and bright lyrics made me think about how children's songs and musicals are always happy and upbeat and there is nothing that goes wrong and everything is solved in the end. 
And then I realized that there was one exception to this rule (although there are probably more, let's forget about that and say that there's only one so that the suspense is greater): the Rock-A-Bye Baby lullaby.
Now, you've probably heard this lullaby so many times - relatives singing it to you, you singing it  to babies, on CDs that your parents would turn on in the car because it was "children's music." But I'll paste the lyrics here (at least the part we're concerned with) to refresh your memory:

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall

And down will come baby, cradle and all

This song is about placing babies in treetops and waiting until the tree breaks so that you can kill the baby by dropping it from the top of a TREE. And mothers have been singing this to their children for so many years....

Think about the innocent mothers, thoughtlessly singing this song to their children, not realizing that they were promoting death and the careless killing of babies. Think about the poor children, who, after a long day of screaming and crying and eating (so stressful, believe me), are ready to sleep until they hear this lullaby and think "Oh my gosh did my mom just tell a story about killing babies?" (let's pretend that they can understand any of the gibberish humans say). Traumatized babies everywhere. It's going to be a big problem - a giant condition that no one will be able to solve. Babies, coming into the emergency rooms at night, as their parents freak out about how "they haven't been sleeping" and how "they seem to have been in extreme shock" and how "I don't know what to do I didn't do anything wrong I fed it exactly 8.41 ounces of milk like it said to in the baby how-to manual help doctors help" and the doctors will be confused because they've never seen this illness before and they'll dub it "Sitipeelstnacseibabitis." (That's "babiescantsleepitis" backwards with another "itis" stuck onto the end.) (Pronounced "si-tee-peel-st-nak-say-bab-eye-tis")

Moral of the story: Mothers, read the lyrics before singing lullabys.


From,

Me.

It's That Time of Year Again.....

Hi,


It's been a while since I've posted. Not as long as the last gap, but still pretty long. Kind of.

Let's see.... What can I talk about...? Well... Today is Groundhog Day. Happy Groundhog Day! I remember I used to be obsessed with Groundhog Day in second grade and I'd be like "What did the groundhog say what did the groundhog say?" and my parents would just in their heads be like She still believes this crap (sorry for cursing kind of) wow.... and I'd be like "Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me!!!" and they'd be like, "Well, this groundhog said spring would come early but the other -" "YAY EARLY SPRINGGGGGGGG!!!!" and my parents would just sigh. At least that's how I envision it.

What else happened? Hmm..... OH! Yesterday I did a bunch of math (I couldn't solve the problem and it was frustrating me so much) and was simultaneously messaging people (because I'm cool like that) and one of my friends sent me a link to this very funny video which I won't link like I usually might because that would be too much information about my life and one of the advertisements was titled "Super Bowl XLIX Advertisement" or something like that (and for those of you who don't speak Roman numeral speak, that's the 49th Super Bowl) and simultaneously that friend texted me "There are people screaming outside because a touchdown was scored" and I nearly slapped myself on the head because I had forgotten about the Super Bowl (this happens every year). After about 10 seconds of actually caring about the Super Bowl I went back to my math, which went something like cosine of 30 degrees = sqrt(3)/2 = x/2y so therefore 2(sqrt(3))y = 2x and so x = sqrt(3)y and then I find sin 30 degrees and evaluate that for x in terms of z, then find y in terms of z and use that in another shape somewhere in the weird hexagon and solve for all the areas and find freaking x. Either way, I didn't understand what in the world I was doing. And then the game supposedly ended and another friend asked me "Did you watch the Super Bowl?" and I just replied "doing math...." and I think the person literally responded the fastest a person has ever responded to me "YOU DID MATH INSTEAD OF WATCHING THE SUPER BOWL????" and I was just like "Yup... that's me...."

Now that you know more about my life let's talk about more stuff since this blog post is really empty. Maybe I should add random pictures.

It's a penguin!

Cookies.....

Speaking of cookies, it's Girl Scout cookie season again. You know what I'm talking about, hopefully. If not, click on this link: SUPER COOL POST ABOUT COOKIES. A reader suggested to me that I write something about Girl Scout cookies, and then he suggested that I write about how Girl Scout cookies are like child labor. I have two things I want to say about Girl Scout cookies: 1) I feel like I'm selling legal drugs and 2) I suppose it's child labor but it's not really but then again it is.

Point 1:  At our school we're not supposed to be in possession of actual money, like cash or coins. Instead, we have "ID cards" that we use to pay for items. So if I want to sell Girl Scout cookies, theoretically, I shouldn't be getting money at school. However, a) 'Muricans don't follow rules 'cause we're cool like that and b) the people that I'm selling to live pretty far away and it's too much work to deliver them directly to their house (also a waste of money on gas). So I bring them to school, and we exchange there. But since it's forbidden, I feel like I'm selling drugs. For example, the person I'm selling to will be like, "Meet me after 5th period" and I'll just be like That kind of sounds like "Meet me behind the alley" and I don't think I'm a drug dealer I'm an innocent Girl Scout trying to sell cookies.

I suppose that thought brings me to point 2, which is that I suppose selling Girl Scout cookies is like child labor - but it's not - but then it is. If you weren't aware, when selling Girl Scout cookies, not all the proceeds go to the Girl Scouts - some goes to the bakers who bake the cookies, and some goes to the "troop council" so that they can "fund themselves" and then like 75 cents of each box goes to the troop. Each box is around $4-5, by the way. So these innocent girls are essentially being brainwashed into making money for these bakers and troop councils by being convinced it's for "leadership skills" and "money management" when in reality they're working for adults and being all innocent to make their money. Of course the adults put in work too but the children are working and making money and that's kind of child labor. I guess. Maybe? Unless they're not children. Plot twist: Girl Scouts are actually full-grown adults disguised as children. Ha.... Ignore that....

Anyway, this topic is getting pretty serious now and I'm not an expert at all on child labor so I'll just stop before people come throwing tomatoes at me (hahaha laugh anyone who gets that which is only like one person okay whatever) (like anyone would read this anyway.... ha ha....). 

I guess that was a good enough filler post. That's all for today. Whoopee.

-Me. 

Responding to "Blank Space"

Hi, All,

It's been awfully long since I posted at all. In fact, it's been exactly six months and seven days since I last posted. I apologize to my audience. Which happens to be no one. Ah, the pleasures of running a blog that no one will ever read. 

Let's see.... what happened while I wasn't posting? Well... the World Cup happened. In Brazil. And that was kinda crazy.... Um... oh! I know! Taylor Swift released a new album! And now she's loved by millions of young people all around the world. Yay Taylor Swift. And of course she broke another record.... I actually took a listen to this today. I know, shame. Shame. I could at least try to be in line with pop culture. I mean, she broke this super cool record! And now she's a legend! And when people look back to the 2010s, they'll say, "Remember Taylor Swift?" and kids will consider her a legend and classic like the Beatles (this scares me). All the old people will be singing at the top of their lungs "SHAKE IT OFF YEAH SHAKE IT OFF" and the kids will be like "Taylor Swift is so old, Grandma...."

Either way, I thought that 

a) I might as well post because why not and

b) "Blank Space" deserved a response.

Note that I make the essential assumption that Taylor is addressing me the whole time. Of course, opinions on this song can change when you assume different things about to whom the song is addressed. For the sake of this, I assume she is talking to me and me only.

So here we go:

(lyrics are in blue and bolded)

Nice to meet you

Nice to meet you also.
Where you been?

Excuse me, it's "Where have you been?" Didn't you learn any grammar at all when you were in school? And why do you want to know that? I haven't done anything suspicious at all. Stop being stalkerish. People don't appreciate nosy questions like that
I could show you incredible things

Like....? I've only known you for about three seconds right now....
Magic, madness, heaven, sin

Er... isn't that just normal life? What we're living every day?
Saw you there and I thought oh my god

What about me evokes such a spiritual call for help?
Look at that face, you look like my next mistake

....why would I be your next mistake? And what mistake exactly? What are you going to do to me? I am worried....
Love's a game, wanna play

Merriam-Webster defines love as "noun: a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person: attraction that includes sexual desire : the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship : a person you love in a romantic way". I don't see there being anything whatsoever that states that love is a game. Whatever. And it's "want to", not "wanna". Gosh. And no, I don't want to play. 

New money, suit and tie

Why waste new money on a suit and tie when you could use it on important stuff like food? Unless you've got new money to waste. In which case, I say go ahead.
I can read you like a magazine

Nope. Don't see any words or pictures printed on me....
Ain't it funny rumors fly

Rumors are not physical beings and so therefore they cannot fly.
And I know you heard about me

No, in fact, I did not.
So hey, let's be friends

Do I want to be friends with you...?
I'm dying to see how this one ends

Which one? To what are you referring? I am so confused....
Grab your passport and my hand

Um... how about no?
I could make the bad guys good for a weekend

But that's not sufficient. You've got to make them good forever. Bad guys are bad.

So it's gonna be forever

What's going to be forever? Nothing is forever.
Or it's gonna go down in flames

What is going down in flames? Also, it could just as easily go up in flames. Or sideways in flames. Or diagonally in flames.
You can tell me when it's over

When what is over? Gosh, you're so confusing.
If the high was worth the pain

What high? Stop being so vague.
Got a long list of ex-lovers

Okay....
They'll tell you I'm insane

I'm starting to actually believe this...
Cause you know I love the players

What players? I had no idea. I still have no idea. What do you mean, players?
And you love the game

Stop assuming things. I don't love "the game".

Cause we're young and we're reckless

Stop making assumptions! Gosh....
We'll take this way too far 

I told you stop making assumptions! Don't count your chickens before they're fully hatched.
It'll leave you breathless

Then I'll be dead.
Or with a nasty scar

...why, exactly?
Got a long list of ex-lovers

That's quite nice.
They'll tell you I'm insane

Yup. I think so too.
But I got a blank space baby

Well, I don't.
And I'll write your name

Please don't. You don't even know my name. I haven't told you, have I?

Cherry lips

Lips are made of human organs and muscle and tissue, not cherries. Get your facts straight.
Crystal skies

Nope. Wrong again. Skies are made of air.
I could show you incredible things

Yeah, you've said this before. But you haven't shown me anything too incredible yet. Just your incredible stupidity... and your incredibly bad grammar.
Stolen kisses, pretty lies

Lies cannot be pretty. Lies are not objects to admire or judge by outer looks.
You're the king baby I'm your queen

Um... who told you that you could just do that? And I'm not king. Stop assuming.
Find out what you want

I want you to stop talking. Singing.
Be that girl for a month

Why? I like myself as I am. I don't want to be anyone else.
But the worst is yet to come

Oh no! Oh right, death! Death is to come! Ooh, scary....
Oh no

Oh, no!

Screaming, crying, perfect storms

Stop just saying random words without any context as to what the subject is.
I could make all the tables turn

How? Some tables are cemented to the ground. How do you make them turn?
Rose garden filled with thorns

Um... no duh. Roses have thorns....
Keep you second guessing like oh my god

Er... I don't second guess like "oh my god".
Who is she? I get drunk on jealousy

What do you mean, "Who is she?" I have no idea to whom you are referring. And it is impossible to get drunk on jealousy. Jealousy is not an alcoholic beverage.
But you'll come back each time you leave

Um... don't make assumptions. I'm really not liking it here.
Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

How can one be a nightmare? Also, how would one dress like a daydream?

So it's gonna be forever

What is going to be forever? You keep saying it's going to be forever... but what?
Or it's gonna go down in flames

Or up or sideways or twisty-turny or whatever. Not always down.
You can tell me when it's over

I can, but I probably won't. And when what is over?
If the high was worth the pain

What high? What pain?
Got a long list of ex-lovers

I wonder if there's a reason why they're all ex-lovers....
They'll tell you I'm insane

Yup. I'm sticking with them right now.
Cause you know I love the players

Well, I didn't but I guess now I do....
And you love the game

Nope. I don't. Don't tell me what to love.

Cause we're young and we're reckless

I don't think I'm reckless. You certainly seem so.
We'll take this way too far and leave you breathless

Take what way too far? This is a problem with you. And if was breathless, then I would be dead. Again. Do you really want to kill me? Although, I wouldn't be surprised if you did.
Or with a nasty scar

You never answered why I'd have a nasty scar. What did you do to me?
Got a long list of ex-lovers

Yes, we all know. Stop saying this already.
They'll tell you I'm insane

Yes, yes, YES WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU ARE INSANE
But I got a blank space baby

How can one have a blank space?
And I'll write your name

Please don't.

Boys only want love if it's torture

Er.... Um.... Assumptions much?
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

I didn't say I didn't warn you. There. Happy?
Boys only want love if it's torture

Why? How? If what is torture? How can love be torture when love is supposed to be a pleasurable feeling? Unless you're implying that boys find torture pleasurable.... Now you're getting somewhere....
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you

Why can't I?
So it's gonna be forever

YES WE KNOW AND MY ISSUES ARE STILL THE SAME WHY WON'T YOU TELL US WHAT IS GOING TO BE FOREVER
Or it's gonna go down in flames

YES YES YES WHY???
You can tell me when it's over

No. I cannot.
If the high was worth the pain

Oh, of course I know what you're talking about. 
Got a long list of ex-lovers

Yes. I know this. Please stop.
They'll tell you I'm insane

You are insane. We all know this. Please stop.
Cause you know I love the players

You've said this five times now and I still don't have context.
And you love the game

NO I DON'T. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS? I DON'T LIKE THE GAME, WHATEVER THAT IS.

Cause we're young and we're reckless

Please shut up....
We'll take this way too far and leave you breathless

Of course....
Or with a nasty scar

Of course....
Got a long list of ex-lovers

Yes we've heard this six times already SHUT UP.
They'll tell you I'm insane

yes yes yes WE KNOW THIS please be quiet.
But I got a blank space baby

I still don't understand how you are in possession of a blank space.
And I'll write your name

Please do not. Is this Deathnote?

Source: http://www.directlyrics.com/taylor-swift-blank-spaces-lyrics.html

I suppose that's all for today. Make sure you're not as retarded as this person who wrote the lyrics.... 

Just kidding. 

Maybe....

-Me.

Edit: A friend of mine pointed out that I am starting with the assumption that Taylor Swift is talking to me, so there we go. I have added this before the song lyrics.

A Filler Post... Since I Have Nothing Else About Which to Write

Hi, All (who only consists of about three people and robots).

I feel like I should write a post.

My friend just told me about this person: http://jon-lock.deviantart.com on deviantART. His drawings are really cool - I haven't really looked too much into depth, though.

I would put a picture of Chrome on here, but Google Chrome says, "Remember: Using others' images on the web without their permission may be bad manners, or worse, copyright infringement."

Here's a list of what to look at:
-Chrome
-Chrome's Little Bird
-Everything.

On another thought, Google Glass opened new spots for its Explorer program today. I am not rich enough to buy Google Glass.

Jon Lock has a tumblr. He also has a web shop. Buy his stuff. You can get a Twitter art print. Or a Chrome wall clock. Or a Tumblr onesie.

Here are random pictures of cookies:

Source: http://coffeeandesign.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/chocolate_chip_cookies.jpg

Karkat!

Source: http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111216151555/mspaintadventures/images/1/17/Karkat_Vantas.png

There we go. It is now long enough to be considered a decent blog post.

Good   bye.

         |

Look at that space.

The Nacirema

While surfing the internet the other day, I ran across an article about the North American groups called the Nacirema. I found the original article published in the American Anthropologist in 1956, called "Body Ritual among the Nacirema" by Horace Miner. 

Link: https://www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html

Skimming through the article, I find the Nacirema to be a very strange people. They believe the human body to be ugly and to have diseases and disabilities if certain rituals are not followed. They follow secretive rituals every morning to rid the body of disease and even have special medicines prepared for each and every disease or disability that could happen. They even go to the extent of visiting a holy-mouth-man who will open holes in the Nacirema's teeth and fill them with paste believed to rid the mouth of disease. The medicine men of the Nacirema have a latipso where the sickest patients are treated. The patients are made to go through torment while they are being "treated," getting poked and prodded, having magic needles stuck into them, and being forced to eat substances that "heal" the subject. Many patients do not make it out of the latipso alive, but the Nacirema have faith in the medicine men. The Nacirema also go to "listeners," who listen to all of the patient's troubles and fears and somehow remove the devils in the minds that makes the Nacirema think bad thoughts. They have feasts and fasts to fatten and thin people, and procedures to alter the body shape if it is undesirable. 

I have heard of very many strange people, but these are the strangest. Following rituals to extinguish disease? Drilling holes in teeth and filling them with magical paste? Making sick patients go through torturous procedures and having a strong chance of not being cured? 

I suspect some kind of strange gene that all Nacirema people have that makes them think like that.

But then again, if aliens were to land on Earth and look at us, then they would probably think we were the weirdest people they had ever encountered. We even think many of our own kind strange - people who have fetishes, people who do or don't like a certain object, people who do strange things, often dangerous, etc.

The Nacirema may be strange people, but I think that the article is unjust in that it judges them as crazy people who may have mental issues.

They're Americans. 

Responding to "Say Something"

Lyrics from www.azlyrics.com

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Why? Why are you giving up?

I'll be the one, if you want me to

The one what? The one who makes all my meals and cleans my rooms? That would be nice.
Anywhere I would've followed you

Even to Antarctica? Or the moon? Or Neptune? Or the bathroom? Gosh, you're freaking me out...
Say something, I'm giving up on you

You still haven't said why you're giving up...

And I am feeling so small

Well, let's see. How tall are you? The average American woman is 5'4" and the average American man is 5'9". But then again, you might not be American. You might be German, like 6 of you are. I don't feel like looking up the average height of German women and men.
It was over my head

What? The football? Well, if you're short, then there is a good chance that unless you jump, the ball is going to go sailing above your head. Sorry. You just gotta get used to being small.
I know nothing at all

You definitely know how to write needy lyrics.

And I will stumble and fall

No! If you do, you might hurt yourself badly and die. Maybe you're needy, but don't die. You should be careful! If you fall on the stairs, then you'll be in big trouble... That happened to me once. My butt hurt for four days straight.
I'm still learning to love

That's okay. Everyone needs to learn. By learning, you won't lose more of those brain cells.
Just starting to crawl

Um... How old are you? I started crawling when I was 8 months old. I don't think you're 8 months old.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Didn't your parents tell you that you should never give up? That giving up means that you're a loser? Can I call you loser now? Loser, loser, loser...

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

It may be a happy thing. I'm not sure if I would have liked you.
Anywhere I would've followed you

You stalker.
Say something, I'm giving up on you

You should have at least learned from The Little Engine That Could. You know? Never, never, never give up... No?

And I will swallow my pride

No chewing? It's not good to just swallow. You could choke. Unless you're swallowing pills. Those are terrible to chew. They taste really bad.
You're the one that I love

Okay.
And I'm saying goodbye

Why would you say goodbye if you love me? That's really stupid. Don't let your loved ones go away! 

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Something! Something! There! I said it! Are you satisfied!
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Does it occur to you that both you and me are probably better off since you didn't get to me?
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)

Stalker. And what's with the oh-oh-oh-ohs? Did some kind of revelation happen? Did you invent the next lightbulb? Did you come up with the greatest thing to happen ever after the invention of the smartphone?
Say something, I'm giving up on you

Something! Something! Just don't give up! Do you know how bad that is? It's going to become a habit. Then you'll fail at life and die thinking "I was an epic fail at life because I gave up."

Say something, I'm giving up on you

You really don't listen...
Say something...

Look at that. You're already dead. I told you.

Edit: After multiple complaints about how "Never, never, never give up" appeared in The Little Engine that Could before Thomas the Tank Engine, proper revisions have been made.